


Before, During and After

by hhhhhhhappycow



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Hatake Kakashi Needs a Hug, Hatake Kakashi is a Good Teacher, Hatake Kakashi is a Troll, Ichiraku Ramen (Naruto), Yes all of these exist at once, some slight canon divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:34:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27581440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hhhhhhhappycow/pseuds/hhhhhhhappycow
Summary: Various meetings between Kakashi and each of the members of Team 7, in the time before, during, and after the course of the series.
Relationships: Dai-nana-han | Team 7 & Hatake Kakashi, Haruno Sakura & Hatake Kakashi, Hatake Kakashi & Uchiha Sasuke, Hatake Kakashi & Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 5
Kudos: 94





	1. Before

The forest kept calling him.

He could hear it. Lord Third always said he had an active imagination, but Naruto could hear it. The whispers.

They were different than the whispers in the village. Those ones made him hurt.

But the whispers from the trees sang of adventures. Of enemies to defeat and victims to rescue, of animals bigger even than the biggest dog that wandered the streets in the Inuzuka compound, the one that stood taller at the shoulder than Naruto himself did even on tiptoes. Of heroic acts that would make everyone in Konoha look at him with glistening eyes and mouths full of praise.

And the verge of the forest was right there.

It had been easy to slip away from school. Iruka-sensei had been distracted by Chouji yammering on about something, and then Kiba had thrown something at Ino and upset her. For once Naruto had felt like being quiet. So when Ebisu-sensei, the young new teacher, opened the door to ask something and then forgot to close it behind him, Naruto had slipped straight through.

It hadn't taken him long to slip past the guards and out of the gate, into the long grass.

Now he stood staring into the trees. The whispers had died, replaced by a gentle wind.

Houses loomed behind him, empty at this time on a day like this. It was a sunny afternoon. Yet the thickness of the canopy led to the forest floor being shrouded in darkness. Naruto couldn’t make anything out more than a few trees deep in the thicket in front of him.

He rubbed his legs together, feeling grass tickling his lower calves and goosebumps raising. Maybe he should have worn more than his shorts this morning.

Naruto stepped forward, one shaking foot after the other. He still couldn't hear the whispering. He could, back when he was inside the village, and that one time last week when Lord Third took him for a picnic on a hill outside. He was sure it was coming from somewhere out in the trees.

He took another step closer, feeling the shade from the trees nudging at his toes in his shoes.

Once more, he glanced back over his shoulder at the village. He thought he could smell someone cooking food: Those houses must not be as empty as he’d believed. Thought of his classmates and what they would be doing right now. If they would realize he had gone. If they were looking for him.

He craned his neck to look up, as he always did. At the Hokage monument, looming large and casting its shadow across the village. Time to be brave.

A whisper tickled at his ear and he leaned forward, straining to catch it.

Pain shot up his right ankle.

Out of nowhere a dog, as tall as him, was bounding around him. Naruto didn't know what kind of dog it was, just that it had slender legs and was brown.

“Ow!”, Naruto scolded it loudly, feeling tears sting his eyes.

The world wavered for a moment, and then the dog leaped forward, crashing into his side and blowing him backward. He almost fell.

The dog nipped at his heels, but Naruto just laughed and begins to chase it. The dog danced in a circle for a minute, as if unsure of where it’s going, and then rushed back towards the village entrance.

Whispers completely forgotten about, Naruto pursued the strange dog.

As they raced past the guards, any attempt at stealth long forgotten, the men started and began to yell.

“Is that a dog?”

“Is that Naruto?”

“What was he doing out there?”

“How could you let him get past you? He’s five years old!”

“But he’s a monster. Maybe he can teleport, I don’t know! And you were here too!”

“What if the dog is another monster he’s summoned?”

Naruto chased it through the streets, dashing around the legs of the various civilians who were going about their day. It led him into a familiar building and up some stairs, racing up them on all fours. He thought briefly how fun it would be to be a dog and run like that everywhere.

Finally, the dog stopped, panting, right at the top of the stairs.

"Caught you!", Naruto cried, latching his arms around its neck to give it a big hug, burying his face in the fur. It felt warm, heart beating hard, alive. It felt nice to hold something like that.

When he released it, he saw that they were at the door to his apartment.

Funny it would run there.

The animal squirmed in his grasp and he realized it must not want to be held anymore. Reluctantly, he withdrew his arms, and his heart dropped as he watched it bound away, back down the stairs.

Before hoisting himself to his feet, he checked his ankle, rolling it this way and that: It seemed no damage had been done, other than a small red mark. No blood.

Sighing, he went back inside his apartment and shut the door. Iruka-sensei would probably come looking for him soon. He’d try for the forest another time.

*

Unlike the other kids, Naruto didn’t have parents to warn him off of climbing the grassy knoll to get a view of the festival fireworks away from the eyes of the crowds, and he was grateful for that. He really was.

His fingernails dug into clammy mud and he hefted himself upwards. The very top of the cliff, the perfect spot to look out across the village and watch the sparks exploding like dandelion seeds across the sky, was just out of his reach.

Naruto looked down for somewhere to balance his feet and push himself up, and quickly realized that that was a mistake. He hadn’t noticed how steep the climb had become. The first part of the hill gently rolled upwards, only vaulting at a nearly perpendicular angle at the last moment, several feet below the summit.

Summoning a deep breath, he placed his right foot on the solid-looking triangular rock to his right. His arms were beginning to ache from reaching upwards so long, and he relaxed them minutely as his left foot worked to join his right.

Good. He was safe.

But where to next?

His large blue eyes darted about and eventually landed on a small outcrop of lighter rocks, about half a metre to the side of his left armpit. It would be a bit of a struggle to reach, but no more difficult than climbing a tree.

Naruto tensed his arms once more, scrunching his nose up at the pain, and hoisted himself up, kicking with his legs against the grassy tufts that littered the incline.

Only, as he kicked, he became aware that the ground had become much slicker and more slippery than it was further below; his sandals carved through it like butter, kicking up chunks of turf. There was nothing solid to latch onto.

His right foot skidded out from under him completely, and he was almost buffeted away from the side of the hill by a strong gust of wind. The first familiar whirr and blast of fireworks began to ring out.

Why had he decided to come out here, Naruto wondered as his arms strained and his breath huffed. He felt more embarrassed and annoyed than anything. He could have just stayed in his room and watched from the window like usual. Instead, he was hanging by his arms, red-faced, alone in the cold.

Naruto weighed up his choices. It wasn’t very likely he’d be able to make it up to the top now, and it would be a waste of energy to try.

He looked down again. The drop wasn’t too far. Not high enough to kill him, most likely, but high enough to hurt. He could just let himself drop and try to land safely before wandering back to the village and heading to the hospital.

The weather pushed him into the decision. Rain began to patter on his face, running in rivulets down his cheeks and plastering his hair to his scalp. Thunder clapped overhead and a thin thread of lightning caught the corner of his eyes from the distant spot it had struck.

His wet fingers were screaming in protest now. Time to let go.

Relaxing his grip, Naruto’s heart ricocheted across his whole chest and up into his throat. His fingers clawed at the wet grass. He didn’t want to let go. What if it hurt?

And then Naruto was dropping straight down through the air, his stomach joining his heart in his throat, the whole world turning black. He had merely a second to brace himself for the impact.

He expected to feel a dull thud, his feet and legs striking the hard dirt, to be flung sideways in a sprawling heap.

Except something clamped down about his ankle, and his whole body was flipped upside down. His head touched wet earth, just grazing it, his forehead tickled by grass.

Naruto fought to catch his breath, gasping for air as he squinted through the darkness.

An animal had a hold of him.

It wasn’t any kind of animal he had ever seen before. It stood upright on long black limbs, with a dark body and black eyes. The only thing that stood out from its dark silhouette was a pale ghostly face with blood-red lines streaked on either side.

It didn’t blink.

Naruto was only caught in the creature’s gaze for a moment before he was dropped down to the ground, and as he landed on his side with a huff of breath escaping from his bruised chest, he realized it wasn’t an animal, but a person in a mask, it had to be, animals didn’t stand like that or move like that-

Scrambling in the dirt as sleet continued to lash his small frame, Naruto kicked his feet in, digging down and flipping himself over, crawling as fast as possible away before sitting back and clutching his knees to his chest. He tilted his head up, afraid of what he would find.

Dark skies were the only things he saw, marbled shades of navy and gray where it was layered with clouds. Whatever it had been, it was gone.

Naruto hung his head. Had there been anything in the first place?

No, there must have been. Otherwise, he would have fallen straight down.

Perhaps he had and hit his head. He could have imagined the creature.

Naruto coughed a wheezing, rattling cough and pushed himself to his feet, wincing at the way his sore arms seemed to sink slightly into the mud.

There was a thicket of trees to pass between here and the village. When he had made his way out to this spot, Naruto had enjoyed being surrounded by forest, walking a hidden path through the foliage. A couple of years before, he had thought the forest called him. Nowadays it sang to him only at night, in his dreams.

Now, as he raced alone through the trees in the dark and the rain, visions of a monstrous pale-faced creature chasing him, he felt nothing but fear.

*

The village felt more comfortable then ever before in the dim evening light, lamps humming low and streets largely empty.

Naruto wondered if having just received his allowance had anything to do with the happiness soaking in his veins. Usually, he would go to the store, spend it on as much food- ramen, mostly, of course- as he could afford and pray it didn’t run out before Lord Third dropped by again.

Today, however, was a good day.

Naruto skidded to a halt in front of the ramen bar. His stomach was already growling.

He hoped there would be nobody else there. That way he could get the chance to speak to the nice old man or young woman that served him. They were… Well, the woman wasn’t always nice to him, but they didn’t whisper about him. Didn’t treat him like a creature that belonged outside the village, in the barbed fingers of the forest.

Pushing open the tent flaps, Naruto paused just before entering.

Somebody was already there, hunched over at the bar, slurping on their food.

Just his luck.

Naruto could have backed out then, only he happened to catch sight of the jacket, and the symbol on the back denoting that this person- man, Naruto thought it was a man- was a shinobi of Konoha. They must not have been there long, either: Raindrops were slowly sinking into the resilient fabric. Perhaps they had just returned from a mission.

He approached slowly, although he wasn’t sure why. Any shinobi of Konoha would surely have already heard him come in, heard the swish of the flap at the entrance as it swung shut behind him. And if they hadn’t heard him approach, they would certainly have heard him as he clambered onto a seat, just one down from the shinobi.

“What can I get you today, young man?”, the owner of the store asked, appearing from the back of the restaurant and fixing Naruto with a not-quite smile. Naruto wasn’t sure whether the not-quite part was because he hadn’t paid the last two times he was there, or whether it was for the stranger’s benefit.

“You know, the usual!”, Naruto replied, hoping it sounded cool. It definitely sounded like something a grown-up would say, anyway.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the man freeze, pausing mid-chew.

Naruto turned to look at him, half-afraid of what he would find now that the man had surely recognized him. Disgust? Loathing? Anger?

Instead, he was met with nothing. The man had no expression whatsoever.

Rather, he had an expression, but there was some kind of fabric pulled over half of his face, covering half of his facial features. His headband was pulled low over one eye, and the other was lifeless, staring blankly ahead.

After a moment the man seemed to recover, his hand moving faster than Naruto could keep track of and his mouth resuming chewing. He moved so impossibly fast that Naruto was unable to keep track of the food as it traveled to the still somehow covered mouth. Why didn’t this man just remove the mask? Or maybe he was so fast that he just didn’t need to? He had to be eating somehow right?

Naruto began to play a little game in his head while he waited for his order, watching the man closely to try to catch him with the mast pulled down. Perhaps there was a hidden flap? Or perhaps the man was using some kind of teleportation jutsu that just the top shinobi knew about?

Too late, Naruto realized the man had caught him staring and was looking back at him with one narrowed eye.

Uh oh. He’d been caught.

Naruto opened his mouth to ask the man about being a shinobi, when the owner came back in and set a bowl in front of Naruto.

It smelt tantalising. Naruto’s mouth began to water.

Forgetting all about the man beside him, he pulled his bowl towards him and concentrated on slurping them down, before it occurred to him that it was not dignified to do that in front of a jonin.

Setting the bowl back down, he turned his head slightly and saw with astonishment that the man had almost finished his plate.

“How did you do that?”, he blurted out, and then stopped, rubbing the back of his head nervously. “I mean, how do you eat with the mask on?”

“I take it off.” The man’s voice was a low monotone, frosty, yet the fact that he had replied at all bolstered Naruto’s courage.

“So why are you wearing it? Are you ugly?” He squinted. “Are you a spy?”

“If I was a spy, would you be able to do anything about it?”

Naruto considered. “I could scream for help.”

The man didn’t respond. He was staring straight ahead.

He probably wasn’t a spy, Naruto decided.

“Have you just come back from a mission?”, he continued his questioning. “Were there many bad guys? Were you scared?”

“You ask too many questions at once”, the man answered bluntly, and Naruto deflated.

“Oh. Sorry. I guess… I was just glad to have someone to talk to. And you seemed interesting.”

The man didn’t say anything, so Naruto carried on speaking. “Do you know Lord Third? I do. When I grow up, I’m going to be the Hokage, like him.” He remembered his food was cooling in front of him and dove back into the bowl, slurping ramen down in between words. “Then everyone will want to come and talk to me, about missions and stuff. Hey, maybe I’ll be giving you missions! And the-”

A stray noodle hit the back of Naruto’s throat and he found himself choking. Sauce dribbled down his chin and spattered onto the counter before him. For a moment, he couldn’t breathe. He saw Teuchi poking his head out from the back, giving him a concerned look, before his eyes blurred with tears.

Naruto cleared his throat and suddenly air was rushing back into his lungs. He swallowed, wiping at his face until he could see again. From the corner of his eye, he saw the man watching him with a strange expression. Naruto thought he had shifted forward slightly, perched on the edge of his seat, but when he blinked the man was leaning on the counter, back in his original position. Perhaps he had imagined it with his blurred vision.

“You choked because you were eating too fast”, the masked man chided, his tone still flat. “Slow down and enjoy the flavour.”

Naruto tried, but it was so hard. The noodles were too good! How could anybody be patient when they tasted like that?

Before he knew it the bowl was empty. He closed his eyes and rubbed his stomach, savouring the feeling of a full stomach.

A shuffling sound to his side brought him back to the present. The man had stood up and dropped a handful of coins onto the counter. He turned to go.

“Hey, mister”, Naruto said, “it was nice talking to you!”

The man’s single eye darted back towards him, over his shoulder, and it fixated on Naruto’s face for a moment. He didn’t say anything.

Naruto tried not to be disappointed as the man turned away again and took a few steps towards the door.

Only, he halted in his tracks when another man entered.

This one looked even weirder than the first, clad in a skin-tight green jumpsuit. He surely couldn’t be a shinobi of Konoha. But he did have the jonin jacket.

The newly entered patron stared about the small restaurant for a moment, and then the first man stepped towards him and spoke. Naruto strained to listen.

“I was waiting for you but I got hungry, so I already ate.”

“Ah. Sorry, I was-” The green-clad man’s voice was loud, booming out and seeming to echo back at him.

The other interrupted him. “It’s fine. Let’s go.”

But the second man kept staring over the first’s shoulder at Naruto, squinting as if he was trying to get a clear look at him. Naruto froze. Why was he staring like that?

The dark-haired man approached, ignoring the first one’s glares, and Naruto tensed: He was huge and his face was scary. Naruto cringed back against the counter, looking frantically about. Nobody else was there, not even Teuchi. What should he do?

But the man simply crouched by his side and said; “Hello. What’s your name?” His voice was deep, rumbling like thunder.

“Uzumaki Naruto.” Naruto hesitated, then burst out; “Are you a jonin too? Did you have a mission?”  
  


“I did.” He chuckled.

“Wow. One day, I’m going to be a great job, like you, maybe even the Hokage!”

“That’s a good dream to have. I hope I’ll get to see it happen someday.”

With that, he stood and walked away. The man with the mask trailed after him, muttering something. He didn’t sound happy.

Naruto didn’t care: He had spoken with two jonin! And they both thought he could be the next Hokage! Well, the second one did. The first one was weird.

Over the next few weeks, he returned to Ichiraku at the same time, often not even buying anything as he had run out of money, just to see if the men came back.

They never did.

After a month he gave up, and after a year he had completely forgotten about the encounter and the strange masked man.


	2. During

In the three years that Naruto had been gone, Sakura had not felt any sort of desire to set foot outside of the village.

Alright, so that may have been a lie. During her waking hours, she committed herself to aiding Lady Tsunade and Shizune in caring for their patients. The closest she came to admitting it was grumbling, during their busiest moments, that she was going to take off as her teammates had, threatening to do so until Tsunade snapped at her to stop it and pull herself together.

At night, it was a different story. She dreamed of flying through the forests surrounding their home, journeying far across the lands. Sometimes Naruto was by her side, and often Kakashi was too. It was always Sasuke that they were chasing, a black figure far ahead, unreachable, his clothes billowing with the force of the speed at which he moved. He was the only constant, besides the cool feeling of the air, the surprisingly quiet rustling noises of the leaves as they flitted past them.

But the thought of running- running, with no clear direction- never really crossed her mind until she was staggering in the heat with an elderly woman’s groceries grasped in her hands. Tsunade had asked her to get out and help the community. She could not believe that this constituted training. She thought she had left this sort of thing far behind as a genin.

She wiped at her forehead with the back of her hand, grimacing at the feeling of her hair plastered to her face with sweat, and set a bag down momentarily before they turned the corner onto the woman’s street.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of a figure strolling along the street up ahead, talking with someone: Kakashi.

Sakura waved a hand at him.

He tilted his head without slowing, regarding her for a second before waving back, and then, in the blink of an eye, he was gone, and Sakura was left staring at the spot he had vanished from.

It had been good, really, these past few years. Sakura had learned a lot from Tsunade and Shizune, and as much as she sometimes complained she never took the opportunity to help out around the village for granted. She had grown closer to Ino and Chouji, taking her chunin exams with them, and had gotten to know various other members of the village.

And yet… Sometimes, when she saw the others with their teams, she couldn’t help but feel lonely. Seeing Kakashi around was a rarity now, and Naruto had sent a few scrawled notes in handwriting so poor that she could barely understand in the beginning, until those had fizzled out too. Speaking to Sasuke was clearly out of the question.

“Are you feeling alright, dear?”, the elderly lady- Kazuko Dokuraku, the name sprang into her mind- asked, frowning up at her. She had a rather pugnacious face, Sakura thought, and for someone her age, combined with her knitted cardigan and walking stick, it was endearing.

“Yes, I’m fine.” Sakura bent down and picked up the bag she had let sink to the floor, fixing the woman a swift smile as she twined the handle about her fingers. “I just saw an old friend of mine.”

“Ahhh. Kakashi Hatake, yes?”, Kazuko asked, and Sakura started, her smile growing.

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Hmm, he was your teacher, wasn’t he? Funny, really, how his new team could turn out so much like his old…”

Kazuko set off, keeping up a rapid pace as her stick thundered through the dusty street ahead of her. Sakura half-jogged to catch up, wincing at the feeling of the bags beating against her legs. “Like his old team?” Kakashi never mentioned any previous team although, Sakura supposed, he must have had one. She had never really given it much thought before. She knew it took hard work to become a jonin, but all the ones she knew- especially Kakashi- seemed as if they had been gifted with the knowledge from birth.

Sakura only just caught Kazuko nodding as she glanced up from untwisting the handles of the bags.

“You knew his old team?” That was interesting. They weren't far from where the lady had said she lived. Sakura wondered whether she might be invited to stay for a cool drink and to hear some stories.

Kazuko’s face split open in a grin. “Yes.”

“What were they like?”

“Oh, as I said, they were just like yours”, she chattered on, quite happy. “It’s spooky really, comparing you. That loud-mouthed little blond boy-”, Sakura interrupted her with a laugh before blinking an apology, “-is so much like the other one, the boy with the goggles. He never knew when to slow down or quiet down either. But he had a heart of gold and was always helping his grandma out. He was a good kid.”

Kakashi had had a teammate like Naruto? Somehow, Sakura couldn’t picture it.

The elderly woman finally opened the door, and they entered the house, Sakura following her through to a small and cluttered kitchen. The positioning of the windows meant that little sunlight entered, and the room was cold.

“And the Uchiha boy”, she continued, “well, he’s just like Kakashi was back then. Arrogant. Brilliant. But with a cold heart.”

Sakura shivered involuntarily. She had never really thought of that before. Never considered any similarities between Kakashi and Sasuke. It seemed ridiculous. But she supposed it was maybe true, once. The past was always out of touch like that.

Setting the groceries down on the kitchen counter she asked, before she could stop to think about whether it was a good idea of not; “And what about me?”

“Yes.” Kazuko was standing in the middle of the kitchen. Through milky pale eyes, she squinted at Sakura. “You do look a bit like her. And always running around after those boys.” She leaned in so close that Sakura caught whiffs of her rancid breath. “Mind you don’t end up like her, though.”

It was as though she had been plunged into an icy lake. She whispered; “What do you mean?”

“Well… I shouldn’t bring up old rumors.”

Sakura repeated; “What do you mean?”

“She was a sweet young girl. Too young, really, to go on those missions. Although you do all seem to be. Perhaps that is a sign of my age.” She stopped. “All I know for a fact is that she and Kakashi went out together… And only he came back. They say there were enemies but… People always talk, about the singe marks on her clothes, the hole punched right through her chest that had almost cauterized where it had been exposed to extreme heat.” Kazuko gave a shake of her head. “Too doting on those boys, she was.”

A sick feeling settled heavily in the bottom of Sakura’s stomach. “I- I have to go. Sorry”, she choked out.

Backing away from the kitchen, she found herself racing out of the front door.

As she left, she heard the woman muttering to herself; “Yes, you’re just like her.”

*

That night, Sakura had a nightmare. She was in the forest, once again, chasing Sasuke. Naruto was by her side. Only this time, Sasuke turned, launching himself towards them, swift as silent as a bird's wing in the night, and Naruto fell. When he turned his sights on Sakura, eyes red and bleeding, she was unable to move. Frozen. Frantically, she cried out for help, and it was with relief that she saw Kakashi at the edge of her vision, standing among the shadowy trees. Except, instead of rushing to save them as he had once done, he watched them silently, ignoring her cries for help.

She woke up sweating.

*

It was a couple of days later that Sakura spent the morning hauling bags of compost and dirt across a courtyard at the Hokage residence for Tsunade. Ino was supposed to be coming to plant some fresh flowers soon, and Sakura had promised to help by getting things started.

Only as she wiped the sweat from her brow and tipped her head back to the sky, huffing a tired breath, did she realize that Kakashi was watching at the edge of the yard. She wondered how long he had been standing there.

“Hi”, he said, waving one hand casually. The creases around his eyes suggested that he was smiling. "Sorry I couldn't stop and chat the other day. You seemed busy, too."

The air was still warm and muggy although the sun was tucked away behind the clouds, yet Sakura felt the same icy cold feeling creeping in her veins.

She wanted to respond, truly; yet, as she tried, she found she couldn’t look at him.

Hurriedly she turned her back, reaching for another bag.

She wondered if he knew the silence around them felt awkward for her. He probably did. It seemed like Kakashi knew everything. A couple of years ago it had been equal parts impressive and frustrating. Now it made her feel disquieted. Did Kakashi know what she was thinking?

Eventually, he spoke.

“You’re getting stronger every time I see you. It’s scary.”

“Someone told me”, she said eventually.

“About what?” And he sounded genuinely confused.

Sakura took a deep breath, fiddling with the sack in her hands to ensure it was knotted properly at the top before she hauled it up over her shoulder. “About the friend you killed.”

She finally turned to face him, afraid of the reaction she would find there.

To her surprise- and admitted relief- his eye was wide, but otherwise his casual stance hadn’t changed.

“Oh”, he said, almost monotone, and then; “What happened?”

“I was speaking with a woman who knew your team”, she began; her tone grew increasingly uneven the longer she spoke, “She told me about them. About the boy with the goggles who died. And the girl. She said you killed her. I didn’t want to believe it but it’s true, isn’t it? You did just what Sasuke tried to do.”

There was a pause in which she dumped the bag of compost onto the other side of the yard, close to the empty flowerbeds.

After a long beat of silence, Kakashi said; “Sakura. You don't know the full story.”

“What full story? You decided to teach a team with a girl who looks like the girl you were in love with, the one you killed, now that you regret what you did? That’s fucked up, Kakashi, and you know it.” Normally she wouldn’t swear, especially around adults, but now her fists were trembling, and she was gritting her teeth so hard her jaw ached.

She wanted to trust Kakashi: She really did. But he had abandoned her, abandoned Sasuke, abandoned their team. And what Kazukoo had told her only made too much sense. Sakura had always been more observant than others gave her credit for: She had seen the way Kakashi visited the memorial for the war dead, had read the names on the graves that he had visited. Had heard the guilt in his voice as he spoke about comrades. It was only now that it all started to fall into place.

Of course, she knew Kakashi was not a murderer. She didn't doubt that he was loyal to the village, that it had been some kind of necessary sacrifice or, or- perhaps she, this dead girl, had been a pawn that had gotten in the way of a larger battle. Still, he had gone against his own words, the ones that bound them as a team. How could they value the lives of their comrades above all when the man who had professed such values to them had killed one of his own?

Somewhere over her shoulder, he said; “I didn’t love her. She was my friend. And I didn’t mean to kill her.”

Sakura forced out the words: “But you did kill her.”

“We were surrounded by enemies, that day. I don’t want to talk too much about it, but she had been- well, if she went back to the village, it would have put everybody in danger.” She finally turned to him, wondering. He hadn’t moved. “Sakura, I want you to trust me: It was an accident.”

“An accident?”

“She was doing what she thought was best. To protect the village. She was brave that way.”

Sakura stared at him. She wasn’t sure what to believe anymore.

Turning away, Kakashi made his way over to a stone bench on the verge of the courtyard not far from where Sakura stood. He took a seat and hunched over, looking down at his hands. Quietly, he said; “You did remind me of her.”

She felt her face contort as she stepped further away from him, and Kakashi glanced up hurriedly, his one visible eye widening.

“In the beginning, when I saw the three of you together, I could only see me and my old teammates. You don’t really look like her, but you were the sensible one, the one who tried to get them to work together and help people. Just like her. But… There were more differences. She was calm and methodical, you were…” He laughed a little. Drawing in a deep breath, Sakura moved silently across to sit at the other end of the bench.

Kakashi continued; “Passionate. Determined. You were ready to physically fight for what you cared for. She was more like our teacher in that she always sought peaceful resolutions. I did see a little of her in you when I found out you wanted to train with Tsunade… She was a medic, too, and she would have loved…” His voice trailed away and he turned to face her. “I didn’t choose to put you on a team with Naruto and Sasuke. When I saw the three of you together, I saw my old team, and I wish they hadn’t. But you’re not her, Sakura. I knew that from the start. And now I’m glad they did. Even if things seem difficult, your destinies will not be the same as those that befell my friends. I will make sure of that.” He looked away again, across the courtyard. “I’m happy you’re my student and my teammate.”

Sakura swallowed, letting the words sink in. And then, she leaned over to rest one hand on her teacher's arm.

“And your friend”, she reassured quietly. She half-expected him to pull away but they sat like that, in silence, for a minute or so before Sakura withdrew her hand and stood up. She felt as though the buzzing that had ricocheted in her head had calmed slightly.

Kakashi looked up at her, squinting against the sun.

“But you really came here to help me out with these bags, right?”, she teased, hands on her hips.

He scratched at the back of his head. “Ah. I…”

“Just kidding.” Sakura let out a shuddering breath and smirked. “Go back inside. Tsunade probably wants you for something.”

It was with a mocking salute that Kakashi vanished, leaving Sakura to return to her gardening.


	3. After

The first time Kakashi came to visit he leant against the cold stones of the wall opposite Sasuke’s cell for several minutes without speaking before turning about and leaving again.

Sasuke wasn’t quite sure what to make of the whole spectacle. It was at least better than Naruto and Sakura’s tearful remarks and Shikamaru’s biting comments.

And so he remained against the back wall of his cell, his whole body shrouded under the black cloak that they had allowed him to keep in order to combat the cold. He did not meet Kakashi’s eyes, because he didn’t particularly care whether Kakashi was watching him or not. What did it matter? They all came to watch him like a rat in a cage.

In truth, he couldn’t look Kakashi in the face. Surely, he had let Naruto and Sakura down, although they had made it clear that, for whatever idiotic reason, they still cared for him. But with Kakashi, he had no idea where he stood. Two months and this was the first time he dared show his face.

When Kakashi walked away, it was with a long sigh. His footsteps continued away: There should be twenty for him, to the end of the hallway, Sasuke estimated.

Twenty. He was right.

Only the familiar sound of the door clanging open never came. Instead, there was a low murmur that Sasuke strained to hear:

“If he asks for anything, inform me. I’ll deal with it.”

And then the low yet recognisable voice of one of the guards, replying; “Yes sir.”

Finally, the door opened and swung shut, allowing a brief fresh burst of air through. Sasuke always caught the faint smell of the leaves whenever that happened.

Settling back on his bunk, Sasuke returned to wallowing in silence.

Well, that had settled that. He figured Kakashi wasn’t likely to come back. Not for a long while, at least.

*

Kakashi came back the next week.

And then the next.

And the next.

Always the same day and time. Sometimes just for a few minutes, sometimes for close to an hour.

They never spoke.

One time, Kakashi brought his book and leant against the wall, chuckling occasionally to himself. That had been annoying. Although the rhythmic turning of the pages was… Familiar.

Before he knew it, Sasuke had fallen asleep on his bunk and, when he awoke two hours later, Kakashi was gone.

*

On the twelfth visit, Sasuke gave in to his curiosity.

Shuffling up on his bunk, he asked; “Why are you here?”

Kakashi had brought his book again. His eyes- and it was strange, seeing both pitch-black eyes now- froze on the top of the page.

“Why am I here?” Kakashi’s tone was light and neutral. If Sasuke didn’t know him, he wouldn’t recognize the care that had gone into sounding so casual.

“Yes”, Sasuke repeated, still shuffling to achieve whatever measure of comfort he could achieve in that room. Kakashi knew how to test his patience.

“To see you.”

“Don’t you have something more important to do than come and torment me?”

“Torment you?” Still in the same cheery, measured voice.

“Yes”, the prisoner hissed back through his teeth.

And now the twin black circles darted in Sasuke’s direction and fixed on his own.

“You know we have both suffered worse torture than each other’s presence.”

“Not much worse.”

That made Kakashi chuckle. Sasuke watched him, expression neutral.

Eventually, Kakashi sighed. “Well, I wanted to check up on you, I suppose. After all, I’m still responsible for your wellbeing.”

“No, you’re not. I’m not you’re student anymore. And I haven’t been for a long time. I left that behind.” Almost reflexively, a sneer entered Sasuke’s voice. “And you were never that great of a teacher anyway.”

“I meant as a member of the village. I’m to be the next Hokage.”

That was… A surprise. He had half-assumed that Kakashi already was; at least, from the way Naruto spoke sometimes, it had certainly seemed so.

Determined not to let it show, he stated, “I left the village behind, too.”

Kakashi closed his book firmly and spread his hands before hooking them in his pockets. “And now you’re back. So, while you’re here, you’re my responsibility.”

The faux-joyful tone in his voice made Sasuke feel sick. He decided he’d had enough of that conversation, drawing his knees up to his chest and scowling.

“I’ll see you next week, Sasuke”, Kakashi continued. “Hopefully. If this next mission goes well.”

With that, he turned on his heels and began walking away.

Sasuke counted fourteen steps. He tilted his head slightly, straining to hear. What was it that had given Kakashi pause?

After a second of silence, Kakashi’s voice came from along the corridor, quiet yet firm; “And, Sasuke? No, I don’t have anything better to do.”

Six more steps and Sasuke was alone again.

*

Kakashi did not return the next week.

Or the week after.

There could not have been anything drastically wrong, Sasuke reasoned with himself, or Sakura would have mentioned it in her most recent visit. Instead, she had spent half an hour discussing flower arranging.

He stared at the ceiling for fifteen days before he asked one of the guards as he strolled by his cell. They did that occasionally: It must be boring, he thought, for them to sit by the door all day and night. When they first did it, they would stare into his cell, as if he were some kind of freakshow, only as the weeks passed and he did nothing to entertain them, they soon lost interest and learnt to avert their eyes from his glare.

Aoba was his name if Sasuke remembered correctly. Not that it really mattered; but the man was indeed familiar, from the days before.

“Where is Kakashi?”, he asked, his voice coming out hoarse, when the guard had doubled back on his path and was returning to his usual spot.

Aoba half-jumped out of his skin, and he held back a smirk.

The guard watched him suspiciously for some time, and Sasuke waited impatiently for him to calm down. He should not even have bothered to ask.

Clearing his throat, Aoba told him, with a worried glint in his eye and an overly-polite edge to his voice; “Tsunade has been extremely busy. Kakashi has been helping her with various international meetings, working to foster peace and rebuild the great nations.” He paused. “To the best of my knowledge, the missions are going well.”

Sasuke nodded to him, and then returned to looking at the ceiling.

That was the thing, about being in the cell. He understood why they were doing it, even if to him it seemed completely ridiculous. There had to be some punishment, in their eyes, for the crimes he had committed. Honestly, he did not mind it too much. It wasn’t too much different from when he had been confined to Orochimaru’s hideout.

The true punishment, he thought, was not knowing. The outside world was changing rapidly, it seemed, in the wake of the war, and he was a small it that was increasingly out of place. It was not just the village: Naruto and Sakura had showered him in plentiful detail about that, and he had been allowed out to take a short walk one night; under supervision, of course. But of the forest beyond that, and the other villages, he had only memories. He could not imagine anything being the same as before, but he could also not imagine what might be different.

*

Another six days later, Kakashi walked in.

Sasuke heard the familiar slow footsteps approaching and sat up in his bunk expectantly after the first ten with his legs crossed and back straight.

As he came into view at the side of the cell, Kakashi paused in the middle of step number eighteen, his book held open in one hand.

“Am I going to get to read my book today?”, he asked.

Instead of answering, Sasuke requested; “Tell me about him.”

The book was closed and tucked away. Good. Kakashi seemed to have understood immediately what he was asking.

Tilting his head, Kakashi asked; “What do you want to know?”

Sasuke swallowed. “What he was like. The missions you went on. The things he never told me.” He hesitated. “I don’t know what else.”

As though reading off of a grocery list, Kakashi began: “He was a good soldier. Young, of course. I didn’t get to spend a lot of time with him, in the grand scheme of things, but in the little time we did spend together he impressed me with his skill.” He paused, eyeing Sasuke. Sasuke didn’t blink, and he continued. “He was made to see and do things that no child should have to do, and he took it all in his stride. I do not know how it affected him, because he did not come to me with these things- he had no reason to- but he was hesitant to kill, initially. That wasn’t out of the ordinary: New recruits to the Anbu sometimes were. But he adapted. I believe by our third or fourth mission he was an effective assassin.”

Ever so minutely, Sasuke’s hands clenched into fists.

It didn’t go unnoticed.

“I’ll tell you more next time. Remembering these things makes me tired.” Kakashi pushed away from the wall, yawning. “You can always send for me if you do want to know more, in the meantime. But for now, I’m going to go and find another quiet spot to read.”

*

“When was the last time you saw him?”

“Before, you mean? The day of the massacre. Only in passing. He seemed no different than usual. I suppose that was one of the reasons I didn’t believe it at first, that it could have been him.”

“When did you start to believe?”

“When I saw the bodies.”

*

Another twelve days passed without a visit from Kakashi.

Punctual as ever, Aoba trotted down the corridor. Sasuke could tell from his steps- shorter than usual- that he was carrying a tray of food.

Without speaking, he put the tray into the hatch at the side of the cell and then slid it across so that it was accessible for Sasuke.

Sasuke took it. Rice and some kind of vegetable dish.

After a few seconds he realized that rather than the usual steps retreating down the hall, he heard mere silence.

Glancing up, he arched one eyebrow at Aoba, who still stood watching him.

The guard cleared his throat and said; “Kakashi is away on a mission. He should be back soon.”

Ah. That made sense, he supposed.

Sasuke didn’t say anything as he took a bite of his food, and then came the steps as Aoba made himself scarce. It occurred to him that perhaps he should have thanked Aoba, except there was no point in thanking someone for such simple information.

If anything, he should have thanked the man for leaving him to eat his meal in peace.

*

Two days later, Kakashi was back.

When he walked in, Sasuke was reading one of the books that Sakura had brought him on her last visit.

“How was your mission?”, he asked.

If Kakashi was surprised about him enquiring, he didn’t show it, instead stopping in his usual place and hooking his thumbs into his pockets.

“Good, actually”, he answered pleasantly. “Gaara is growing into quite the young Kazekage. I apologize for being gone for so long, and for not letting you know that I wouldn’t be able to visit.”

The ‘I’ll warn you next time’ was imagined by Sasuke, but he felt the implication hanging in the air regardless.

Sasuke shrugged, and his lips quirked slightly as he replied; “It’s okay.”

*

Slowly, he started asking more questions about the village. Asking Kakashi was far simpler than anyone else. Naruto and Sakura fell over themselves to tell him about their lives, and sometimes the details hurt to hear. Kakashi, on the other hand, would wait for Sasuke to ask, and then give a simple answer. It was a little frustrating at times, to hear the vague responses, but he appreciated Kakashi’s visits much more now. He could almost believe that the man cared for him.

*

“Why aren’t you the Hokage yet?”, he asked one day, during a pause in conversation.

Kakashi paused, and Sasuke heard a huff of air coming from his mouth. “It’s… Complicated.”

“Is it because you don’t want to give up going on missions?”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. Kakashi’s expression remained carefully neutral when he responded.

“Perhaps.”

That was puzzling. It was an honour to be asked to be Hokage, so why was Kakashi dragging his heels about it? There had been a time when Sasuke would have killed for that position; quite literally, he would have killed Naruto. But the more he considered it, the more he felt he understood. The position was a complicated one. Whoever assumed it had to make difficult decisions and bear the responsibility of them. Kakashi was likely wise to think it over carefully and not jump in headfirst.

For the first time, a small pang of fear for the future hit Sasuke. Was Naruto not aiming for that very same position still?

He glanced back to Kakashi. Whatever was going on inside that man's head, Sasuke hoped he was remembering to look after his team.

*

Twenty steps. And then two more, as Kakashi approached the cell.

He had never been that close before. Never visited two days in a row before, either.

Sasuke stood and moved closer: Not close, but close enough that he could see the whites of Kakashi’s eyes.

“Kakashi? What is it?” His breath turned thin and shaky and his mind spiralled down, down, down. Were they under attack? Was the village in danger? Were they at war?

Then, more steps, running down the tunnel, quick breaths ricocheting from the walls.

Sasuke braced himself.

And came face to face with Naruto and Sakura, who grinned excitedly as they skidded to a halt next to Kakashi.

His eyes widened minutely as they darted from face to face, seeking answers. He still barely spoke with either of them, other than the same clipped questions intended to prompt conversation that he asked Kakashi, and he was not used to seeing them all together. Clearly it was something that they considered a positive, although he could not imagine what that could be.

Perhaps they were letting him go.

Swallowing around his rising expectations, Sasuke asked; “What is this?”

As though he couldn’t keep his thoughts inside, Naruto hopped from foot to foot and cried; “Happy birthday, Sasuke!” His smile was so wide his cheeks must hurt, Sasuke thought. Then, what Naruto was actually saying struck him.

“What?”, he repeated numbly.

“It’s your birthday”, Sakura explained, somewhat calmer. She brushed a lock of hair back behind her ear, a matching pink flush spreading across her face. “We came to surprise you!”

Sasuke glanced toward Kakashi. What could be seen of his face was amused. That bastard.

“Yeah!”, Naruto was enthusing. “Yeah! I know it must suck being in here, but at least we can come see you now! We can make up for the years we missed!”

“I… Hadn’t realized. That it was my birthday”, he croaked, pausing briefly when they stared at him with matching expressions of bewilderment.

“Oh, Sasuke!”, Sakura cried, moving forward as though she could throw her arms through the barrier to the cell and hug him. Sasuke wondered whether he would let her if she could.

As Naruto and Sakura crowded forward, uttering their usual chatter and gossip about the village, Sasuke found he didn’t mind listening to them so much as he had before. Over Naruto’s shoulder, Kakashi moved to stand in the back, leaning against the wall in his usual spot. Although he didn’t speak much for the rest of the visit, whenever Sasuke glanced over, he was keeping a close watch over the three of them.

*

Sasuke hadn’t expected his freedom to arrive so swiftly.

Were the people of the village truly alright with letting him go like this? He stared blankly ahead at Kakashi, still processing the news. There was no barrier between them, yet he hung back a few steps, just in case.

As though he had read Sasuke’s mind, Kakashi said; “I would stay outside the village for a little while. Some people would not be too happy if they saw you around the streets.”

“I can handle myself”, Sasuke asserted in a robotic tone, then hesitated. “But I intend to head outside anyway. I want to see for myself how this world has changed. Maybe catch up with some… former allies.”

Kakashi looked at him for several seconds, and gave a sharp nod. “If that’s what you want to do. But, Sasuke…” Reaching forward, he placed one hand on Sasuke’s shoulder, and Sasuke’s mind spiked in panic, partly telling him to punch Kakashi though a wall and run, partly wanting to clasp that hand and cling to it like a drowning man. It was the first time in nearly a year that someone had touched him. Maybe longer. “… Always remember that this is your home. You can come back, and you will be safe here.”

Sasuke stared. He didn’t say anything.

Brightening up all of a sudden, Kakashi said; “I think Naruto and Sakura are waiting outside to talk to you.”

Of course. They would probably be excited, likely more excited than Sasuke himself was.

“I’ll be out in a minute.” He took one last look at his cell. When Kakashi walked away, Sasuke took a breath and whispered; “Thank you.”

Kakashi did not react at all, did not turn around or pause in his gait, but Sasuke was somehow sure that he had heard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the end of my little series. I'm honestly not quite sure what this is, maybe a bit of a story, maybe a bit of a character study. Whatever the cast, I hope that someone out there reading it enjoyed it, and that anybody who is actually reading this is having a great day! :))))))


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